Bad Vacation Decisions? Sleeping Bear Dunes Will Gladly Charge You $3K for Yours

I own it. I've made some really dumb decisions while on vacation. We've all made questionable choices—like gas station sushi on a road trip. But if your brilliant summer plans involve hurling yourself down a 450-foot-tall sand dune while lacking the ability (or stamina) to get back up? Congrats, you’ve unlocked Michigan’s most expensive cardio session—a $3,000 rescue bill.

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Michigan’s Most Iconic—and Dangerous—Dune Climb

Yep, Michigan's most iconic dunes, the Sleeping Bear Dunes near Glen Lake, Michigan, nestled on the shores of Lake Michigan, is a great destination that offers spectacular views. The park's Outlook #9 provides a one-of-a-kind feast for the eyes without strolling (or tumbling) down to the water.

Seriously, if you're not in decent or even great shape, take in the scenery from the top. The climb back up can feel like the ninth circle of Dante's Inferno, even for your neighbor who never stops talking about CrossFit.

What Happens If You Can’t Make the Climb Back Up

If my warning isn't enough, just read any one of many giant, not-so-subtle signs posted by Sleeping Bear Dune park rangers that flat out tell you not to climb down if you can't climb back up. Why?

Well, it's not that you'll be left to fend for yourself at the base of a dune. The Glen Lake Fire Department will gladly send a whole rescue crew, ropes, pulleys, and enough muscle to pull you up—all for the low, low price of three grand.

Why That Rescue Bill Is More Than Just Annoying

Not only that, but more importantly, for every rescue they perform at Michigan's Sleeping Bear Dunes, that's an entire crew that's unable to respond to legitimate emergencies, such as fires or traffic accidents. Ask yourself, "Is this Instagram post really worth three grand?"

RELATED: The Second National Park WAS in Michigan: Mackinac National Park

Save Your Pride and Your Wallet—Try This Instead

So, while a $3,000 rescue bill may seem excessive, remember, you've been warned. Do yourself a favor, and stroll over to North Bar Lake: the perfect destination for people who want Lake Michigan vibes without the emergency pulley system. You'll keep your money in the bank and your pride intact.