NEXT DOOR, UP NORTH, NOT TOO FAR: Decoding Michigan Directions

In Michigan, we have our own way of measuring distance that may not translate to lost out-of-staters. Not sure what I mean? That isn't surprising. If you've lived in the Mitten State your entire life, you have been given and gave directions like this since you first understood what a mile was.

Related: Dear Rude Michigan Shopper: Let's Review Basic Human Behavior

Let's take a look at how to translate our Michigan directional phrasing into something people not from our fine state can better understand.

Michigan Units of Measure By Mile

That's not far, it's 'NEXT DOOR'

NEXT DOOR, to a Michigander, is 1 to 2 miles. This is not to be confused with...

Oh yeah! That's 'RIGHT UP THE ROAD'

To be clear, RIGHT UP THE ROAD, could be as little as 5 miles or just under 10, and, it doesn't necessarily mean you won't be making turns on other roads.

Yup, just head 'UP NORTH' a bit

'UP NORTH' is tricky, this unit of measure can vary between 15 to 100 miles depending on:

1. Where in the state the directions are given
2. Where the Michigander giving directions considers Up North begins.

Just head 'A COUPLE MILES' and it will be on your right.

Being from Michigan, we know when someone tells us a destination is A COUPLE MILES, we know it's between 10 to 20 miles. Out of staters view 'a couple' as only 1 or 2 miles. Weird, I know.

Okay, that's 'NOT TOO FAR' at all!

Considering that we are willing to drive over an hour to a restaurant in Michigan, sometimes we stray from using miles as a unit of measurement and start using time. NOT TOO FAR could be anywhere from 20 to 50 minutes.

So, that's 'A LITTLE WAYS' from here

From here on out we are in using time as the unit of measure and A LITTLE WAYS is how we Michiganders let you know you've got a drive ahead of you that is over an hour.

You're in for 'A PRETTY GOOD DRIVE'

A PRETTY GOOD DRIVE is Michigander for a 2-hour or more drive.

So, there you have it. How to translate Michigan driving directions into actual units of measure.