Monroe County, Michigan, where the weather is frigid, and the entertainment is—unpredictable. Monday night, January 13, 2025, was one for the books as deputies wrangled a naked man who had broken into a home in Berlin Township.

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Let me set the scene for you: It's 18 degrees outside. Most of us were bundled up in enough layers to feel like human lasagna, under blankets, on the couch, in our warm homes. Meanwhile, our 34-year-old streaker from New York (who police have not named) thought, "Who needs clothes when you've got confidence?"

Naked Man in 18-Degree Weather Floods 911

A cartoon drawing of a snowy city scape is seen with a naked man and CENSORED over his private parts.
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It seems this man is comfortable enough with his body and frigid temperatures to take a naked stroll down Swan Creek Road. He stopped at a business, where, according to the Monroe County Sheriff's Department press release, the "unclothed man" was "saying odd things and behaving strangely."

The question I'm left with, and perhaps you are too, is what did the NAKED MAN say that was odd? Honestly, if it's 18 degrees and I see a naked man, no words need to be exchanged. I'm dialing 911.

He's Naked, Cold, and Wants to Wrestle

A naked man is seen huddled next to a fire by a river, with his face and privates blurred/CENSORED.
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CBS News reports there was a slew of concerned calls, and when deputies hit the scene, they found an abandoned vehicle belonging to the suspect. Once the naked New Yorker saw the authorities, he fled on foot. While deputies searched for him, another 911 call came in. This time, our frosty nude friend had upgraded his crime spree to breaking by barging into a nearby home on Law Street and coming face-to-face with the homeowner.

Personally, I'd rethink my life choices as a naked man being confronted by the person who owns the house I just broke into, even if it was 18 degrees outside. However, our unclothed New Yorker had other ideas, like assaulting the homeowner and eventually getting into a wrestling match with them and the deputies.

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Apparently, he wasn't much of a wrestler, and police subdued the naked guy, charging him with home invasion, resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer, and, of course, indecent exposure. He now has a not-so-cozy but warm spot in the Monroe County Jail where he can sit and ponder why Michigan winters are not the time to let it all hang out.

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