How to Discourage Unwanted Relatives From Moving To Lansing

Do you know someone who is thinking about moving to the Lansing area? It may be hard to discourage unwanted friends & relatives wanting to move here, but you might try tellin' 'em these:

"Ten Reasons NOT To Move To Lansing"....(ALSO SEE ABOVE PHOTOS)

1) TOO MANY FOOD & MUSIC FESTIVALS
May damage eardrums.

2) BEAR, DEER, COUGARS AND MORE WILDLIFE
They may eat or scare pets.

3) FOOD SO TASTY YOU WON'T WANNA EAT ANYWHERE ELSE
Then they'll NEVER leave.

4) JUST HOW MUCH SLEDDING, SKIING & TOBOGGANING CAN ONE PERSON DO DURING WINTER?
Too many winter activities will scare off the lazy side of the family.

5) TOO MUCH ART & CULTURAL STUFF; YOU MIGHT TURN INTO A SNOB
And who needs more snobs?

6) WHEN RELATIVES VISIT, THEY WON'T WANNA LEAVE
We've ALL been there.

7) LOTS OF WINERIES TO VISIT WILL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN
You don't wanna be responsible for turning grandma into a wino.

8) NUMEROUS PLAYS & MUSICALS TO CHOOSE FROM MAY GET CONFUSING
Sure to boggle the heads of unwanted guests.

9) MSU CAMPUS IS HUGE...MIGHT BE TOO SCARY FOR YA
Great place to frighten backwoods relatives.

10) AN ABUNDANCE OF SPORTS WILL MAKE HUBBY IGNORE HIS HOUSEHOLD CHORES
...or maybe that's a GOOD thing, to get that pantload outta the house for awhile.

Of course, WE know these reasons are part of why we wanna live here...but why would we want someone from out of the area to cut in on our fun?
(And you all know this is tongue-in-cheek, right?)