This Invasive Creature Will Destroy Michigan! See It, Squish It Immediately!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everyone in between, we have a serious problem on our hands - the Spotted Lanternfly! Don't let the name fool you, this is not some mystical creature from a far-off land. No, it's a real-life nightmare that's making its way to our great state of Michigan. But fear not, here's all the information you need to know about these pesky little critters and how to get rid of them. Just look above at the egg sac they lay on Michigan trees, ew.

Where Did These Things Come From?

Native to China, the spotted lanternfly (lycorma delicatula if you're being formal and Latin) first arrived in the United States in September of 2014, choosing to make landfall in Pennsylvania. Since then they've been unwelcomed guests and have made it to Michigan's invasive species list after being spotted (pun unapologetically intended) first in Oakland County.

Related: Michigan Stink Bugs, to Squish or Not to Squish, That is This Question

Why These Pretty Little Bugs Are an Agricultural Nightmare for Michigan

First off, let's talk about what makes the Spotted Lanternfly such a nuisance. These little bloodsuckers love to feast on the sap of trees and plants, causing damage and even death to our beloved greenery. And let's be real, they're not exactly the cutest creatures out there, with their red wings and black spots.

But don't worry, we have a solution. You have my permission to squish them on sight! Yes, you read that right. It's time to channel your inner ninja and show these invasive species who's boss. Trust me, it's for the greater good. Orrrrrrr you could follow the protocol set forth by Michigan.gov:

If you see a suspect insect, try to collect them or take a photo, record the location, and report it. If you think
you found an egg mass, do not disturb it. Record the location, take a photo, and report it. Reporting can be
done at www.michigan.gov/eyesinthefield.

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Personally, I've seen Starship Troopers enough times to know a good bug from a bad bag.

via GIPHY

What's At Risk for Michigan

Now, let's talk about the serious stuff. The Spotted Lanternfly has already caused extensive damage in states like Pennsylvania and New Jersey, and we don't want that to happen here. So, what can you do to help? Keep an eye out for these little suckers and report any sightings to the Michigan Department of Agriculture and Rural Development. And of course, don't hesitate to squish them on sight.